What You Don't KNow
by breeze3
Summary: PREVIEW:How did it end like this? How did I end up in this cell, alone, cold, and dangling somewhere between earth and wherever it is we all go when we die. And that’s the one truth to this entire mess, I am going to die here. R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nope not a thing…. Poor me.

A/N: So your all going, what another one-short? Well I had to! Couldn't help it! Actually the sun is out, the flowers are blooming, and my allergies are killing me. So I have been stuck inside counting the days until it rains again! I have a pretty busy weekend so my next updates probably wont be until later this week, hope this keeps you all happy until then! This is pretty short but it took my forever to write for some reason, but I am very happy with it! So if you feel inclined to do so, please review! I will thank you in advance for you reviews…. Haha now you do feel inclined! Muahahahahah!

**What you Don't Know**

"I don't care about you Granger. I've only been using you." My voice is calm and smooth. The words gliding from my mouth and to her ears. Her mouth slightly hangs open out of shock. Her eyes giving way to the pain sweeping through her heart. I smirk at it, as if it take pleasure in it. The way I used to. After a long second she blinks and any evidence of pain is gone replaced by a cold glare, one I have not seen in a long time. As if it were some other lifetime. After a few long moments of her suffocating glaring, I turn to leave the empty classroom. My heart pounding and praying she will just let me go. But her voice breaks through my ears.

"Stop." I listen. I don't take another step, in fact I barley move an inch. I don't turn to look at her. I cant, I know she is crying, I can't see that. Not now, not after everything. I hear her choke a small sob and I feel my eyes begin to burn. Its only been seconds, but they drag on. "Liar." She whispers the small word, as if it were hard to say. Her voice cracked and broken. My head tilts back slightly and I look up towards the ceiling, I don't cry, ever, but this, this is killing me. I gather up my voice and try to calm my nerves before I respond.

"Your right Granger, I am a liar, but I assure you," I suck in a breath, "mud blood," I turn and face her, "I am telling no lies here." I can't read her, can't see what she is thinking behind those brown eyes.

"Liar." No sound escapes her lips. But I can read them like the back of my hand. Her eyes are blank, cold, but I know its taking every bit of her strength to keep it together. I called her a mud blood. The worst thing I could possibly call her. The one thing that should make her believe, make her angry enough. She only stared. In disbelief. I cock my eyebrow and turn to leave again. "No." I flinch at her voice. Wanting to stop. I don't, I head towards the door. "Malfoy." She calls. Her voice so desperate. 'just leave.' I tell myself. I hear her take a step to follow me. I put my hand on the knob and begin to turn it. "I love you." she has never said it before. And suddenly I cant breath. I'm not sure why, maybe because I know its true, but it breaks my heart. And all the strength I had to walk away suddenly disappears.

I turn once more and walk towards her. My feet quickly closing the distance between us. My hands grab her face and I pull her lips to mine. I have never kissed anyone like this before. Never so completely. Never felt it so much before. Her tears make my the kiss damp, but it doesn't matter, I have been waiting to hear those words my entire life. From someone, anyone, especially her. I pull her closer and deepen the kiss. As is my life depended on it, she allows me to have control, kissing me back as eagerly, as fully. I want to tell her everything, tell her I love her, stay with her forever. And then something begins to pull in the back of my mind, and that voice that haunts my every breath, is suddenly whispering down my neck.

"_I will do it Draco," his voice is so condescending, "make no mistake." I stare at the man who was once my hero. The man who lied to me, who lies about everything. The person I wanted to be, until her. He has caught me off guard, his wand at my throat the minute I walked through the door. I have no choice but to listen to his plans. His great plans for me. He ranted and raved about what he could do, I said it didn't matter if he killed me. He would still lose. And then he touched a nerve, he said he would kill her. Not me, but her. I lock the door behind me and nod in compliance. _

"_What will you have me do father?" I speak but I don't hear it. The only thing I can see is that cold smirk of a winner spread across his face. A smirk that only a cheater gives. He slides his wand into his robes and begins to pace around the room, elegantly._

" _Don't ask stupid questions Draco, you know what to do, if you need me to explain it then you are as useless as they say." I have to hold back a laugh, useless, or important enough to blackmail. I know what he wants. To follow in his footsteps, to leave her, and become a Death Eater. To become what he always wanted, everything he isn't._

"_And her, if I do this, you wont hurt her." I ask quietly. He stops and stares at me. Disgusted by the fact that I care about her so much._

"_I give you my word." He puts out his hands to shake. And I know I am making a deal with the devil, but what choice do I have. I outstretch my hand but he pulls back before I can touch it. "And if you don't do what I ask, I give you my work that I will suck the life out of her and make her scream. Do you understand?" At this very moment I have never hated anyone so much. _

"_Yes sir." I answer. He shakes my hand and walks out of the room. Leaving me with a task. Something I never though I would agree to doing. I want to run away from my room suddenly. I want to tell her about everything that just happened. But I can't, he has cornered me. I can tell no one. Ever. And all I can think about is what I have to do. And I already know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life._

I pull away from her and the kiss quickly taking a step back. I stare at her, she cant die. I cant let that happen. She is breathing rapidly, her lips and nose flushed. Her cheeks still damp. Her hair is as frizzy as ever, but she is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I have seen pictures of angels, been in contact with unicorns, and seen the world, and none of it has ever come close to her beauty. She reads the fear in my eyes and starts shaking her head. The tears filling her eyes once again.

"Don't Draco." She whispers. "Don't lie to me again." I take a step back. I have to walk away now. She reaches out and touches my hand. I yank it away.

"Don't touch me Granger. Your nothing to me," My voice is raised. Her hand covers her mouth as she slightly jumps back. I reach out and grab her shoulders. I shake her harshly as I speak. "I was using you, that's all. I don't, I don't." My voice trails off. I cant say it. Not now and not ever. Her small hands fall to chest and push me back. Her eyes on fire.

"Say it." She demands. She takes another step closer and pushes me again. "Say you don't love me." she pushes me once again. She's really not strong enough to make me move, but the topic of the conversation was making me small. She pounds her hands against my chest over and over again. I let happen, I deserve it. I try to grab for her hands but there moving to quickly.

"Granger." I say her name quietly and try to grab her hands again. I miss. "Granger stop." she doesn't listen, I don't even think she hears me. "Hermione." this time I manage to grab her wrist. I yank them towards me and glare. "Your so foolish." I hiss.

"And you're a coward." She spats back.

"Your just a silly school girl desperate for affection, just a silly mud blood girl." My voice is as condescending as my fathers. She yanks a hand free and before I can grab it she slaps my across the face. Hard. I grab her hand and a second later I have trapped her again. Her eyes bore into mine, not just angry but pissed off. Yes, there is a difference.

"Don't you ever talk down to me. Ever." Her voice is so strong, so monotone.

"You deserve less then that." I snarl back. "Your lucky I even glance in your direction." I yank her wrist again, causing pain. She doesn't flinch. "Even touch you filthy skin."

"Is that so?" She takes a step closer, leaving almost no space between us. Her lips hovering close to mine. Despite everything going on there is still a flutter in my heart. I suck in a breath. "Well, Ron will be happy to know we can finally be more then friends." She sneers. As she speaks her lips lightly brush mine. Her words make me angry and turned on at the same time. She is such a tease sometimes.

"Hermione." My voice practically growls, daring her to push my buttons. She pulls away from my grasp and smiles falsely as she steps back.

"And we can date, and get married, and then live happily ever after, with a bunch of red headed children." she pauses and smirks at me. "Course children will mean being intimate with one another."

"Like bloody hell your sleeping with that Weasly phrat. I swear to God if I find out," I stop yelling when I notice the smile spreading across her face. She knew, how dose she always know, the my temper and jealousy will get the best of me.

"Awe, now I see." She whispers. She sniffles her nose, "you don't care at all."

"I don't" I half heartedly say. She stomps towards me.

"Stop it, just stop." She practically begs. I suck in a breath. This is going to hurt.

"I only care because I had you first Granger, I don't want my conquest to be spoiled by the likes of him." My voice is blank, and I cant look at her as I say such a horrible thing. It's true, she gave me everything, trusted me, and here I am, throwing it all away. Even saying it is betraying her. I finally look at her, and I wish I could apologies at that very moment.

"What's wrong with you?" Her features suddenly pained.

"It's the truth." I whisper.

"You would only say that to hurt me, to make me leave." she takes another step closer and I feel like I am going to throw up. "You don't get out of this so easily. You don't get to make me hate you."

"Don't hate me." I say it without thinking.

"Why wont you just tell me what happened?" Her eyes look so lost, as if she now, somehow, understands I am walking away from her no matter what she says. I wish I could tell her, but if I do, if I tell her the truth, she wont let me leave. Unlike me she is not afraid of my father. Not afraid of the things he could do to her. If only she knew. But I don't have the time to make her understand, there is never enough time. Forever wouldn't be long enough. I suck in a deep breath.

"Nothing happened and nothing changed. I got what I needed from you, and then some, so do me a favor mud blood, leave me alone." My voice becomes low and cruel. She puts her head foreword and it falls to my chest, she is shaking. I've never seen her this way before. She is not a weak person, not in the slightest, but she cherishes her relationships, God I am a horrible person.

"Draco please, please don't." she whispers. She looks up at me, "Even if it's true, if that's how you really feel," She sucks in a breath as her hand reaches for my face. She strokes my cheek lovingly. "If you never cared about me, just don't leave it like this, don't end it like this. You don't have to tell me what it is," She puts her other hand on my face. She's breaking me. "But don't do that to me." My hand falls to her face. I brush away the hairs on her forehead, ignorant of my actions.

"Oh Granger," I am unaware of my voice and how soft and sweet it is. "What would you have me do?" My hand rest at the base her neck. She leans into my touch. Her eyes closed. My instincts tell me to lean foreword and kiss her temple sweetly but, I don't. I wrap my arms around her though, desperate to make her stop shaking. I release her after a moment angry with myself for letting my feelings to overtake my actions.

"Just say goodbye, with no hate, nothing cold, just a simple goodbye." She opens her eyes. "That's all." It's a simple request, I'm sure girls all over the world have asked the jerks who stole there virginity the same thing. But the last thing I want to do is say goodbye to her. I want to make her happy, to make her smile. She sees through me like no one else. Understands my cold demeanor and pulls me out of it, making alive.

I pull my hand towards her lips and run my thumb across them. Still soft and perfect, I see goose bumps run up her arms. How many nights have I laid next to her gently touching them. How many times have a kissed them, sucked on them. I lean foreword and kiss her lightly. Lovingly and as sweetly as I can. I hope she doesn't feel me tremble. I stay there for a long moment enjoying her taste, her scent for the last time. I pull back and take her in, everything about her. She opens her eyes, and I do my best to memorize them. Brown and beautiful. Warm and inviting.

"Goodbye Granger." I kiss her nose and let her go. My body craving her instantly. She doesn't say anything, only watches me leave. I slid out the door and close it behind me. But I don't walk down the hall, I lean against the large door. My eyes closed. My eyes are burning but I refuse to let the tears fall. I should have know better then to think we could have a happy ending. I turn to face the door and put my hand on it. Somehow I know she is doing the same. Tracing the door with her fingers. Crying softly to herself. I stay they for a long time.

"I love you." I whisper. I know she cant hear it but it doesn't matter. I had to say it out loud eventually. And then I am walking down the hall. Away from her. And I hate myself. I hate myself more then I hate him. He never broke her heart.

a/N: I posted this, and was like hey, I want to add some more, so I added the entire middle section! Now its done for sure! LOL…. Please review… PLEASE!


	2. Part Two

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, nope not a thing…. Poor me.  
**A/N: **I decided to make this a two part, someone asked me for another part, i think they wanted a happy ending, opps!

**What you Don't Know**

**Part Two**

I lie there, cold and alone, my heart pounding into my chest. My eyes burning and alive with fear. The stone floor is dirty and damp. I can smell my own blood, oozing out of my now broken nose. I lie there. Face down, hair out of place, and dirty. I am everything I was raised not to be, defeated and lost. My hands are bound behind my back and the rope burns my pale skin. Blood seeping through the layers of skin staining my wrists pink. I want to scream, to let out a cry, but I wont, If anything I am still proud, proud and cocky. Like a Malfoy should be. That's the one trait I will never lose, my own goddamn pride. If anything they will say I never cried, never let out a scream of agony. I don't think I even know how anymore. I have forgotten how to cry, amazing.

How did it end like this? How did I end up in this cell, alone, cold, and dangling somewhere between earth and wherever it is we all go when we die. And that's the one truth to this entire mess, I am going to die here. No one will save me this time, no one is coming. I've either killed or hurt everyone who loved me. There backs turned and there eyes deflected. I fucked up. I fucked it all up.

I close my eyes as I here the door behind me open. Why don't they just end it, no ones death should take this long. But here I am trapped, kept alive because some jerk in a court is saying what there doing to me is wrong. Saying I deserve to live my life in a cage. Saying I'm a person with feelings and emotions. I am; I'm very much a person, but they don't realize something, I am a bad person. A very bad person. I feel a cold hand grab the hair on the back of my head and yank my face up. The guard keeps his grip tight, even he hates me. My knees stay on the ground and I suddenly wish I had the strength to stand as the stone cuts into my knees. A fleeting though, for I will never stand again. Its hard to see through my eyes, the room is dark and they a swollen to the point where I think I am going blind. I'm sure the glazed over and white, I've caused many people to have eyes like this. And then a voice fills my ears, the last voice I had ever expected to here.

"Draco Malfoy, you are,"

"Severus?" My voice cuts through the air. He stops talking. "You don't work for the ministry." my voice is raspy and raw. I can barley even hear myself. I hear him take a step closer, when had he moved in front of me. Is the room a circle or a square? I cant remember.

"I requested to read you the verdict. I though," he trailed off. He's not one to trail off. "I owe you that Draco." I'm almost a hundred percent sure I'm smirking.

"You owe me nothing." I say sarcastically. He feels guilty, guilty as sin. He testified against me, most believe it was his testimony that sealed my fate. He knew more then anyone, and he might be the only person in the world who still holds some respect for my dark soul.

"I owe you this much." He paused for a moment before beginning again. "Draco Malfoy you have been charged with the tortures and murders of seven witches or wizards and eleven muggles. The court has found you guilty of all eighteen slayings including that of…"

"I know there names." I almost snap at him. I can't here them all again. He clears his throat.

"Alright Draco," another pause. Come on Snape just say it. "The court has also found you guilty in the conspiracy to kill twenty other members of the wizardry world. Evidence has also been found of you giving the order to kill several others. The court finds reason to believe that you are to dangerous to kept alive and hear by passed down your judgment and give you to the Dementors of Azkaban. You will suffer the kiss immediately following this sentencing." I hear a piece of paper being folded and suddenly I am glad he came, despite almost two years without contact, of accusations of betrayal and lies, I am glad he told me how it all ends. Funny isn't it? And then something tugs at my heart, a pair of browns eyes, a smile. A girl, no scratch that, a women. One that used to love me, and now hates the air I breath so raggedly. I have to ask, have to know.

I love hurting myself.

"Dose she know?" I ask. I know he knows.

"Yes." He sounds so sad, he understand that I am still capable of loving one thing in this world despite all the damage I have done.

"Well then." Its all I can think to say.

"Do you have any last request Mr. Malfoy?" He ask me almost kindly. I think for a long moment before I decided to ask my last favor. My very last.

"Will you tell her that," It hurts to much to talk. I feel his hand on my shoulder suddenly. I suck in a breath. I have to say this. "I'm sorry for thinking I was untouchable, for thinking I was more then human. But that I'm not sorry for loving her, and that." I cough roughly, I can taste the blood on my lips. "And that, she was right, she's always right. I love her , I was lying when I said I didn't, and that I will always love her. Always."

"I will tell her." His hand lets me go and I feel the room grow cold. They are coming for me.

"I'm sorry." I mean it. "I had to save her."

"I know you did." He sounds so fucking sad. "Don't worry Draco, I'll stay until the end." And somehow, knowing he will be there to watch them suck out my soul gives me comfort. They say to watch the kiss be preformed is unbearable, he must feel very guilty indeed. I know what's coming, there going to suck out my soul, there going to feed off of all the bad things I've done.

This may take a while.

I close they pale gray eyes that no longer work. I suck in a breath, here, at the end of my life, I want only one thing. A hundred years from now, no one will care about my death, no one will give it a second though other then, he died. Its normal, people don't dwell on death, its a fact of life, everyone will die. But not everyone will live, I've lived. I've lived with her. I gave it all up for love. And suddenly the side of me that died a long time ago, the one that longs to touch her skin and whisper words of sweetness resurfaces. I'm not making sense anymore, not even to myself.

They enter the room, one at a time. I'm cold as ice, so cold its hard to breath what little air makes it to my lungs. I wont scream, I refuse to scream. And then it starts. So many flashes, so many memories. Of all the things I have done, the people I had ordered killed, the ones I killed myself. There faces, there pleads for mercy echo in my head, like an old wound being cut open again, the scar tissue making it more painful then before. How long has it been now, minutes, hours, days. It feels like it a lifetime, it has only been seconds. And now everything is going black, I feel my head hit the floor, but it doesn't really hurt. I'm somewhere else. And then I hear a voice, calling my name. And I remember, all these things that I've done suddenly slip away and the most painful memory of my life plays out in slow motion.

"_I don't care about you Granger. I've only been using you."  
_

"_Liar." _

You see loving your enemy is not grand. It isn't stronger then the reality in which we walk. It is a nightmare, a curse. Unlike the love stories and songs there is never a happy ending. It destroys you, it ruins not only your life but those all around you. Loving your enemy, its a fools dream. Something worth everything and nothing at the same time. Everything and nothing.

_"Malfoy." She calls. Her voice so desperate. "I love you." she had never said it before._

Looking back now I realize she had said it a thousand times. In her own way. Maybe that's why she got me to fall, she showed me a side of the world I have never though possible. Stupid Granger. After she said it, I kissed her. She won me over with those three words. Sometimes I think I am still living that moment, I close my eyes and she's back in my arms and I am kissing her. I'm in love. And I'm still a good person. I can feel her, taste her, and I want her more then ever.

_"And you're a coward."_

I am a coward. I ran from her instead of protecting her. I hide and never saw her again. I lied to her, I broke it off. I destroyed us. And I did it all while hiding the truth from her. A coward indeed.

_Somehow I know she is doing the same. Tracing the door with her fingers. Crying softly to herself. I stay they for a long time. "I love you." I whisper.  
_

Maybe that's now I did it. Maybe that's how I killed them all, you see, when I walked away I hated myself. Hated myself more then words can express, I was a tool and I let them throw me and twist me. And I let them without hesitation. When you lose everything you become nothing. Everything and nothing.

I am nothing without her, I never was anything without her. It was all for her, and she hated me. Oh how I fucked it up.

And then it all stops. I open my pale gray eyes and I'm staring at my lifeless body, broken and bruised. Bloody and limp. I'm not dead, I can see the guard checking my pulse. But I'm not there anymore, my soul has been sucked out. I've read about this, my body will live for a few days maybe weeks, unable to drink or eat, I will die, but now I must wait. Wait for it all to really end, unable to speak of been seen.

Nothing, dangling between here and there.

see Snape, he is crying, tears sliding down his gaunt cheeks. There's nothing I can do to comfort him, he cant hear me. But he will be alright, I'm sure, he is strong. There's only one person I want to see before my body shuts down. A pair of brown eyes calls to me.

Maybe then I will be something again.

You see, she is worth everything.

**A/N: **I hope you liked it, please review!


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